Wednesday, August 1, 2012


I think I have the beginnings of a manuscript.  It needs more work.  It needs a conclusion which ties everything together and makes some broader points.  Nevertheless I am very happy with what I have now.  I have also been getting my share of hate mail for the book which is fine.  I go through everything that is said in these correspondences and I don't see any refutations of my main point.  One lady said I should stop caring so much about what people said in the ancient past and just open my heart to Jesus.

I don't see how trying to understand what Clement and Origen were doing in antiquity is closing my heart to Jesus.  I may not know much but I think I have a fair idea about what life is all about.  Even with respect to God, I don't understand why these people think that their 'way of the insects' is good for everyone.  Some people are by nature unnatural, cerebral, tall, or short.  This isn't a one size fits all situation.

I like thinking.  I hope I attract the same kind of people to my blog.  The fact that few of them post but many keep coming back implies to me at least that I have attracted like-minded individuals.  And isn't that what life is all about?  Do opposites ever attract?  Isn't all love self-love?  I forget the French of La Rochefoucauld (something about 'amour-propre' I am sure).

I can still remember proudly reading my French edition of his Maximes when I was a handsome teenager suntanning my parents backyard.  I don't know if I am alone in this but I look back and wonder how it is possible that I can now think myself smart when I was so stupid for most of my life?  What on earth was I thinking reading La Rochefoucauld for pleasure bronzing myself in order to make myself attractive to members of the opposite sex?  Is there really any woman out there that wants a tanned, athletic type whose only cares in the world were blow drying his hair and reading obscure seventeenth century French writers?

Of course the irony is that I did meet such a woman.  But the point here is that I shouldn't have.  Women aren't supposed to want to be with someone who is more vain than they are.  Nevertheless life has taught me a great deal.  I just can't believe what a fool I was.  Life is such an amazing experience.  It is totally overwhelming.  There is always something bigger than you out there.  It's only when you lose sight of that fact that this massive thing usually comes crashing down on your head.

Anyway I have been working on this manuscript for quite sometime.  I thought I ought to annoy people with my horrible musical taste (my son has to hear this playing in the car all day).  I went through a period of looking like Barry Gibb (or at least the Polish equivalent of that coiffed, open shirt eighties hair-dressing guy).  Hard to believe I am the same guy.  I really should post some pictures of myself from university.  Oh here they are.  I think my hair was even prettier than Barry's if you asked me.

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Stephan Huller's Observations by Stephan Huller
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